Theory

[icycalm]

Man... I don't even know where to begin. I am just amazed that in the year 2008 the owner of one of the most respected "underground" game websites is still blissfully ignorant of the essentials of any kind of reviewing. I have explained these things again and again on this website, but perhaps you missed them. If so, I'd advise you to read this and this as soon as possible. Certainly before you attempt to review any other electronic game with actual depth.

Oh man I didn't know you guys hated me so much. :(

No one here hates you. If the word 'hate' is to have any meaning, it should be used only when referring to people who might have killed someone's brother, or pimped his daughter, or burned down his house. All we are doing here is laughing at clueless people who review games they can't even play. Just check the thread's title.

I don't disagree with your criticisms, because I am not the kind of fighting game fans that hangs around (nor cares) about the SRK forums, nor do I prowl the SHMUPS forums or attempt 1ccs.

Whether you hang around Shmups or SRK is irrelevant, but if you do not "attempt" 1CCs then you have no business reviewing any electronic game which started its life in the arcades. Otherwise what happens is that you end up coming with pearls like these:

At its heart, Mushihime-sama is barely any different from any other Cave shooter.

"Barely any different"! But then again how can anyone expect you to see the differences if all you are doing is playing them for twenty minutes? You didn't even MENTION the game's ACTUAL SYSTEM in your review -- let alone attempt to pass judgement on it! (which, by the bye, is what reviewing is all about) And how could you, since figuring out its system on your own (i.e. without going to Shmups) would take weeks of daily sessions -- and that's only if you are already deeply experienced in the genre. Otherwise you could be playing it for ever and STILL fail to figure out how it works!

Like most every shoot em up, Mushihime-sama is an unfortunately brief experience - after twenty minutes, you’ve seen all there is to see, and the extra modes don’t really add a whole lot.

"Brief experience"! A game which people are playing for years and still find impossible to beat!

Obviously this reflects on my writing so it obviously won't go super indepth on a lot of stuff.

"Super indepth?" Dude! You are not even skimming the surface!

This is why fighting game reviews mostly consist of character rundowns and analyzation of the graphics/music/etc and the basic of the mechanics, without being extraordinarily overwhelming - that's what FAQs are for.

I am sorry -- what? So reviews should be about the graphics and music, and FAQs should be about reviewing? Please pass around whatever it is you've been smoking.

Additionally, I don't think not being SUPER HARDCORE into fighting games disqualifies someone from writing about them.

Dude, you are not even being hardcore, let alone SUPER HARDCORE. In fact, you are not even playing these games and you don't even know it. The games are playing you.

I think you're being hard on a lot of blogs for stuff like that.

I am not being hard enough. Can you imagine the reaction if people who were tasked with reviewing superbikes started rating them on the basis of their color? Or if the people reviewing them could not even ride them? Because -- make no mistake -- this is exactly what you are doing here, man. You are saying that the latest Ducati superbike is crap because it's BLUE.

[JoshF]

This is why fighting game reviews mostly consist of character rundowns and analyzation of the graphics/music/etc and the basic of the mechanics

I don't know, there are a lot of non-fighting game articles that are fluffed with character bios and lists in paragraph form, like the Metal Slug article.

[discoalucard]

Man... I don't even know where to begin. I am just amazed that in the year 2008 the owner of one of the most respected "underground" game websites is still blissfully ignorant of the essentials of any kind of reviewing. I have explained these things again and again on this website, but perhaps you missed them. If so, I'd advise you to read this and this as soon as possible. Certainly before you attempt to review any other electronic game with actual depth.

Yeah I read them. Though they have some good points, I don't entirely agree with them, so I can't say I'd be taking your advice on those.

The thing that a lot of posts in this thread - at least, the ones that I've read - don't take into account that you're writing for a particular audience. I, honestly, never play for score in a shooter. And I probably never will. Why? Because I just don't care. I'm not that kind of gamer. I'm sure by saying that, in your eyes, I've pretty much disqualified myself for writing about shooters, but hey. I like playing shooters because I like shooting things. (Consequently, that's also why I prefer games like Gradius and R-Type, which are more about level design, than about scoring.) Similarly, some people criticized some of the reviews on the site because they weren't calling them out on being "broken" for tournament play. Me, I've never played in a serious tournament and probably never will, so what does it matter? Many others gamers do the same, so my writing is aimed more towards people like me.

That's cool if you want in-depth analysis - I assume that's why you have this website! But that's why Siliconera is just about giving a quick overview that's easily digestible, especially for people who aren't particularly interested in shooters but are into imports. I wasn't knocking Mushihime-sama for being only 20 minutes long, or being just like so many other Cave shooters, but it's something the average gamer should be aware of they're not familiar with it. And that's why my website is only called Hardcore Gaming "101". That's also why you wouldn't catch me writing reviews for enthusiast shooter or fighter websites, because hey, I know my place.

[MAXCHAIN]

If you weren't knocking Mushihime sama, you wouldn't have used words with negative connotations like "unfortunately" and "barely".

I'm sure by saying that, in your eyes, I've pretty much disqualified myself for writing about shooters

Only 98 percent of the shooters in the last decade. You can have the rest.

I, honestly, never play for score in a shooter. And I probably never will. Why? Because I just don't care. I'm not that kind of gamer.

Then why are you reviewing score-based games? I don't review salads, because I don't care about them. Obviously I shouldn't be spouting my totally misinformed opinions all over the place, and then calling myself "Hardcore Salad Master".

Thank you for continuing to misinform thousands of readers.

[JoshF]

And that's why my website is only called Hardcore Gaming "101"

The school you just described is the one where your parents pick you up at the end of it. Seriously, if you're going to blatantly admit that you don't play these games the way they are intended what makes you a credible source of criticism?

[discoalucard]

And what makes you guys think that people only play these games for score? A lot of people play for, you know, fun.

[icycalm]

Yeah I read them. Though they have some good points, I don't entirely agree with them, so I can't say I'd be taking your advice on those.

Kurt, in this forum, people who say "I don't entirely agree" with two gigantic essays that took someone days to write and years to research without explaining in detail their reasons -- get immediately IP banned with no appeal. If I respect people enough to work my ass off to write all those articles they read for free, I DEMAND that they respect me enough to provide explanation for their disagreements.

But I am going to cut you some slack because I think you deserve it, but please take this into account if you decide to make another post.

The thing that a lot of posts in this thread - at least, the ones that I've read - don't take into account that you're writing for a particular audience.

Yes, that's true. I am writing for people who play these games, and you are writing for obsessive otaku who hoard games and fast-forward them to the end in twenty minutes.

I, honestly, never play for score in a shooter.

And, clearly, you don't play them for survival either. All you want to do is see the ending screen as quickly as possible.

And I probably never will. Why? Because I just don't care. I'm not that kind of gamer.

Yes, I think we've now established the kind of gamer you are.

I'm sure by saying that, in your eyes, I've pretty much disqualified myself for writing about shooters, but hey.

That you are not qualified to review games you can't even play is obvious to all but the feebleminded. As for simply "writing" about them -- you can write whatever you wish. But as long as you don't take the time to learn how the games you review work, you must expect the people who do to keep laughing at you.

I like playing shooters because I like shooting things. (Consequently, that's also why I prefer games like Gradius and R-Type

No. You prefer these games because they force you to play them the way they were designed to be played, since credit-feeding games with checkpoints is not as effective as it is in games with instant respawns.

which are more about level design, than about scoring.)

lol

Similarly, some people criticized some of the reviews on the site because they weren't calling them out on being "broken" for tournament play.

Forget tournament play. You can't even understand the basics, dude.

Me, I've never played in a serious tournament and probably never will, so what does it matter?

No one here says it matters. What matters is that you understand how a game works before you start reviewing it.

But that's why Siliconera is just about giving a quick overview that's easily digestible

Siliconera is about shoveling on a frontpage as many stupid, ill-informed comments as possible in the least time possible.

especially for people who aren't particularly interested in shooters but are into imports.

What the fuck does the country of origin of a game have to do with the present discussion? How can someone be "into imports"? People are into genres, not into countries. If you don't play shooters you don't play shooters period.

I wasn't knocking Mushihime-sama for being only 20 minutes long

That's exactly what you were doing. Go back and re-read what you wrote.

but it's something the average gamer should be aware of they're not familiar with it.

The "average gamer" is familiar with the fact that shooters are not as lengthy as JRPGs, thanks. And there is a very good reason why this is so, which I explained in one of the articles which you "do not completely agree with".

That's also why you wouldn't catch me writing reviews for enthusiast shooter or fighter websites, because hey, I know my place.

You do not know your place, I am afraid:

It was a sad, sad testament to the state of the industry that Arcana Heart was judged as one of the better releases.

This is what happens when people feel the need to pull opinions out of their asses. Arcana Heart is one of the best, most original and most innovative fighting games to come out this decade. But of course if you can't play it you will never be able to tell. So keep your opinions to games which you do play, and which you do understand. THAT is what "knowing your place" means.

[icycalm]

And what makes you guys think that people only play these games for score? A lot of people play for, you know, fun.

Shit. You posted this while I was typing up my other reply. If I had seen it I wouldn't have bothered. I had no idea you were that stupid. Banned.

[bullethell]

And what makes you guys think that people only play these games for score? A lot of people play for, you know, fun.

Thanks God I stopped posting in his forums many years ago.The worst comment in the WVFO~ World Videogame Forum Opera.If you are reading, please educate yourself.
Shooting games have score based systems for a reason you know.You can see how well you advance and compare your efforts with other Shooting players by just comparing numbers.Its also an addictive and rewarding way to
play for thousands hours those amazing five stages/chapters.I cant believe Im typing this shit.Oh wait hes banned.Ok!

[JoshF]

And what makes you guys think that people only play these games for score? A lot of people play for, you know, fun.

Again, a player who truly appreciates these games wouldn't be seeking those types of people for any legitimate criticism. You're just setting artificial goals. The designers are telling you what to do, and you are ignoring it. If someone thinks winning in Chess is making a neat pattern on the board, and he has fun doing it, that's okay but I would never consult him to educate me on the many intricacies of Chess. So you're entitled to your opinion but you must concede that it is an inferior opinion, or at least know who the designers of these games would back up.

Shooting games have score based systems for a reason you know.You can see how well you advance and compare your efforts with other Shooting players by just comparing numbers.Its also an addictive and rewarding way to play for thousands hours those amazing five stages/chapters

I've heard these speculations as well. It's weird, I thought people were playing Dig Dug for two decades because of the involved narrative.


Man, I just can't believe this arcade rapist (because that's what it is, Mr. Kulata The Indulgent) has the balls to say he's an advocate of Hardcore Gaming and wants to Preserve Classic Forms of Gaming without preserving its philosophy. I used to visit OPCFG all the time, so it's like finding out someone isn't your real father. :lol:

[bullethell]

You're just setting artificial goals. The designers are telling you what to do, and you are ignoring it.

The Designers gave you something that it will be more personal for you, numbers.Lets say, JoshF hit 30.045.600 points last night in STG game X reaching Chapter 5.There are 20 more people in his favourite forum reaching chapter 5 as well but none of them achieved those 30+ millions points.And thats very rewarding for JoshF because he played all the five stages in an extraordinary and dangerous way.If JoshF and the other 20 players played the game for just reaching chapter 5 things would become boring immediately.

[icycalm]

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[Flying Omelette]

Man, I just can't believe this arcade rapist (because that's what it is, Mr. Kulata The Indulgent) has the balls to say he's an advocate of Hardcore Gaming and wants to Preserve Classic Forms of Gaming without preserving its philosophy. I used to visit OPCFG all the time, so it's like finding out someone isn't your real father. :lol:

Just for the record, there was a long period of time when the OPCFG was actually being maintained and updated by Rob Strangman (Dire 51). Pretty much in all the last few years of its life. I think he then turned it over briefly to someone else who apparently lost interest in it pretty quickly.

And if I found out my parents weren't my real parents, I'd be relieved.

[icycalm]

http://www.actionbutton.net/?p=328

my god i haven't lolled this hard in days

and i haven't even read it yet!

my god tim you are so awesome

also:

http://www.actionbutton.net/?p=324

i'll read both later, but i just HAD to link them here as soon as i saw them

[Flying Omelette]

I made fun of this at my own forum awhile ago, but I have to point it out again:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equinox_%28video_game%29

It wouldn't be so bad if it was a review or an opinion piece, but this is supposed to be a encyclopedia article, and yet it reads like a GameFAQs-quality review. Some choice quotes:

The graphics in Equinox do their job admirably while falling short of the sort of detail and subtlety seen in many Japanese games of the era.

I have seen this criticism lobbed at this game so many times and it pisses me off. No matter how much effort you put into your graphics, no matter how unique they are, or how good they are, if you aren't Japanese, they still suck.

The use of bright primary colours is slightly heavy-handed, and tends towards gaudiness, while animation in all but the main character is limited (it’s interesting to note that Nintendo themselves designed and animated Glendaal, and sent the results to Software Creations for inclusion in the game).

I don't think this person knows what primary colors are. And where do they get their facts in this article? They make a lot of outrageous claims, but cite no sources. Information on this game is extremely limited, so I have no idea where they're coming up with stuff like Nintendo made Glendaal, or that the game was originally going to have towns and NPCs, or that Sung Sung was based on Richard Nixon.

All Software Creations games were a treat for the ears, but Equinox is probably their finest achievement.

A statement like this doesn't belong in an encyclopedia entry. I can just as easily imagine someone thinking Plok is SC's best soundtrack. And do all of their games REALLY have great soundtracks? I haven't played all of them, but is there a chance one might not be up to par with the others?

The music by Geoff and Tim Follin is inventive and original, holding its own against the better-known compositions of Japanese chip-composers like Nobuo Uematsu (Final Fantasy) and Yasunori Mitsuda (Chrono Trigger).

This statement is also inappropriate for an encyclopedia article. It's borderline racist. As though anyone who isn't Japanese has to struggle to create good music. I don't know if I want to read their articles on David Wise or Jeremy Soule.

The style is hard to pin down as it mostly avoids the usual route of simulating ‘real’ instruments, opting instead for a warm synthesizer sound, like something from a 1970’s kids TV series (a darker version of The Clangers perhaps).

What the hell are they talking about here???

The fixed 3D perspective is also used by the designers as a stick to beat the player with, playing on the fact that a high block at the front of the screen looks to be in the same position as a low block further back.

lol

Also, barely signposted invisible doors make a couple of the levels harder than they should be.

Lollerskate!! Oh really? Harder than they should be? As opposed to being exactly as hard as the developers meant them to be, because you know, they hide things for a reason. It's a game. Part of the challenge is figuring it out. This is what happens when you have people raised on today's easy-as-fuck modern games write articles on challenging retro games.


Hah! I just now noticed that box at the top that says the article reads like a review and needs cleanup. I wonder if they just put that there recently because I don't remember seeing it last night.

[JoshF]

I think Tim is on to something with his Tekken 5 review. From now on, every fighting system should be evaluated based on the win ratio of a particular group of players. I can't wait to see Tim in this years Tougeki as he button mashes his way to victory against Taizo and Madator 50 percent of the time.

[icycalm]

From the comments on Tim's Smash Bros. X review:

C’on Erostratus: Think about Borges. It’s true that going straight to the point is foolish, but you have to do it well. If not you end up with some fucking surrealism garbage. It’s OK that games are now popular culture, but that doesn’t mean that you have to use damn Mel Gibson in a metaphor or analogy.

About the game being a flawed platformer… well you are confusing a format with a genre. The format of the one player campaign is bad, everybody knows that; the format of the multiplayer (non cop-op) and of the classic one player campaign is good, so good in fact, that the reviewer spent several hours playing it. So good that you have to be good at the game to enjoy it, so fucking good that there’s a World Championship where pros can finish you off in a mater of seconds even if you have less than 20% of damage. It’s like Starcraft: in this site they complain about that you have to micro-management everything instead of focus on more important task: well dudes, there’s some people who can. That’s the point of the game, if you suck at it, there’s no more to do for you but to keep playing Street Fighter: big guys & small stages.

I’m tired of that all that fetishism thing. Games are fucking games, no people for you to analyse as if you where Freud. What are the implications of Super Mario Bros? What is the meaning of the cryptic “Your princess is in another castle”? I don’t fucking know, I just want to play the game: that’s what Gears of War is so great. If you start complaining about cannibalism in Super Mario Brothers games we’re all fucked up. There’s room for clever observations, just don’t threat games like people: that’s freak me out.

Oh, and about the controller… I already told you to use the gamecube’s. Look at the things that people can do with that purple thing in YouTube and be ashamed. You only complain about one controller configuration, try all and then come and give us your opinion.

“In the end, Smash Bros. X is what it is. It’s a random, carnival-like brawling “experience” that is probably going to be pretty fun at parties if everyone has played and attained a fair degree of skill at various old 2D side-scrolling action games. It’s just — nope! — not quite enough for me. (Disclaimer: “Me” is a person who enjoys videogames and other forms of entertainment.)”

Ha! I’ll change it for you to have sense: “In the end, Smash Bros. X is what it is. It’s a brawling experience that you can’t enjoy unless you’re good at the game, there’ll be tournaments and people making money with his playing skills and at the same time millions of people will enjoy it. I suck at this game, maybe is because I failed to see it like what it is: a fighting game with some game modes presented in a bad format. (Disclaimer: “I” is a person who enjoys playing the worst part of a game and complaining it about later so I’ll get thousands of hate mails: that’s the kind of entertainment I like ;) )

I like your style, but please be more like De Quincey and less like a fusion of Mel Gibson (when it’s bender) and Captain Planet (when sucks at videogames).

I wonder how many times, and in how many ways, will people have to explain to Tim that reviewing games you can't even play is foolish.

I mean in the past this sort of inanity used to give him lots of hits, and so I could see the attraction. But now hardly anyone gives a fuck. IC has been reduced to irrelevance, Large Prime Numbers is dead, and hardly anyone has even heard of Action Button. Most of those who HAVE heard of it go there mostly for the laughs. It has practically no traffic whatsoever.

New Games Journalism is dead, except in the minds of some professional reviewers, such as the Euroidiot fools, who are trying to inject some NGJ into their reviews, with predictably laughable results. Tim just needs to realize it.

[icycalm]

Human beings don't get much stupider than this:

http://vidgamejournal.blogspot.com/2008 ... -game.html

[dire51]

Man, I just can't believe this arcade rapist (because that's what it is, Mr. Kulata The Indulgent) has the balls to say he's an advocate of Hardcore Gaming and wants to Preserve Classic Forms of Gaming without preserving its philosophy. I used to visit OPCFG all the time, so it's like finding out someone isn't your real father. :lol:

Just for the record, there was a long period of time when the OPCFG was actually being maintained and updated by Rob Strangman (Dire 51). Pretty much in all the last few years of its life. I think he then turned it over briefly to someone else who apparently lost interest in it pretty quickly.

I stumbled across this thread, and I wanted to clarify: FO got it half right. I've always been the person behind the OPCFG. Kurt was just nice enough to get it all up and running for me and update it with the material I'd send him when it first started. Back then I knew exactly nothing about maintaining websites. Once I learned, I took over. Aside from some of the reviews and Special Features (and anything else specified), the content is 100% mine.

And Mike didn't lose interest, he got bogged down with school and work. That was when I came back and ran it jointly with him until I shut the site down.

[icycalm]

Hey dude, welcome. Sorry for banning your friend, who helped you out so much with your site, but he basically told us that playing games for score cannot possibly be fun (see here), and that level of stupidity is not tolerated around these parts.

On another note, you might want to remove this comment from the frontpage of your site:

Great games have never had to be high-tech to be high-fun.

http://hg101.classicgaming.gamespy.com/opcfg/

All great games were considered high-tech for their time. Electronic gaming itself is high-tech, and it relies, at least partly, on high technology to exist, and to evolve.

You might also want to read this:

http://insomnia.ac/commentary/why_hardware_matters/

[icycalm]

I was talking with Recap today over email about this thread:

http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=12640

and I would like to record here my view of the whole situation, as I explained it to him:

As for the SB people who bothered to respond to your article, I have nothing to say. Their objections are nonsensical, at best. Which is why I stopped posting in forums other than mine (and yours). I have no desire to initiate communication with such people anymore. Let the little rats read my site and "discuss" my articles later in their little gutters. If they read something and it lights up a little bulb in their tiny rat-heads, so much the better. If not, who cares.

[icycalm]

More lols today... This shitty PS3 blog called onAXIS ripped off one of the photographs from my Japan section:

http://onaxis.blogspot.com/

Their background image seen here:

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1403/146 ... 4765_o.png

Is the third picture from this page:

http://insomnia.ac/japan/imagining_tokyo.php

[JoshF]

Nice of Flackon to offer his translation services. :lol:

So after reading that thread it would be safe to assume these SB guys are a bunch of hipster pomos, right?

[icycalm]

Just look at the thread titles:

http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewforum.php?f=1

QED.

[JoshF]

I stopped at "Audiosurf is really fun." :lol:

Think you could post Specineff's translation? Not in this section obviously. I'm excited to see it.